


Heart to Heart

by lj_todd



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Emotional Hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Family, Father-Daughter Relationship, Gen, Grief/Mourning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-15
Updated: 2017-11-15
Packaged: 2019-02-03 01:56:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,156
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12738678
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lj_todd/pseuds/lj_todd
Summary: "It pains me to see you cry.""I-I'm not c-crying, shut up."





	Heart to Heart

**Author's Note:**

> Written as a response to a request from [@mischief11things](https://mischief11things.tumblr.com/) over on Tumblr.

It had been days since Nyssa's return to Nanda Parbat, bringing with her the news that Sara had fallen, taken by Al Sa-her. Her grief had not yet lessened and she found it difficult to control her emotions in front of the other members of the League. Those who knew of her relationship with Sara looked at her sadly and, after hearing yet another whispered condolence, she had all but fled to the safety, the isolation, of her private chambers.

She hid there for three days before her father finally came seeking her.

He had knocked before entering, a formality more than anything, though he came alone and closed the door behind him.

"Nyssa," he spoke gently, far more gently than he had in a long time. "You cannot hide in your room forever, my child."

Nyssa curled up on the bed, hugging Sara's pillow, huffed and turned her head away, her dark hair hiding her face from the keen gaze of a man who accepted no weaknesses from his soldiers. She might have been his daughter, and heir, but he still looked on her as he did the others of the League and held her to the same standards. He always had.

"I am _not_ hiding," she retorted, tears burning fresh in her eyes. "I am...I am _grieving_."

Ra's said nothing for a moment, merely walked closer, watching her. When he reached the bed he sat on its edge, reaching out, slowly, to brush Nyssa's hair from her face.

"Sara would not want you to punish yourself this way, my child."

Nyssa almost snarled at the mention of her beloved but held herself in check. This was not some lesser member of the League. This was not Oliver, whom had once loved Sara as fiercely as she did. This was her father, the Demon's Head, and no matter her emotions she would give him more than her grief filled fury. He did not deserve it. The man who did was shielded by a man she had once thought to call brother.

"Do not speak to me of Sara as though you care she is gone," Nyssa said coldly, glaring at her father. "You never accepted her. Never truly wanted her among us."

"Because she was never truly ours, Nyssa." Ra's shook his head, so calm and quiet in the face of her grief. " Ta-er al-Sahfer..." He paused, shaking his head again, as though the name were not right. " _Sara_ , was a remarkable warrior, but her place was in the world, on a path of her choosing, not mine. Though I am grateful beyond words that you had her love. For all that she did not belong here, my child, please know that I never doubted her love for you."

Nyssa said nothing for a moment, giving him a cold look, tears still clinging to her lashes.

"I don't believe you," she finally said and turned away once more.

Ra's hummed softly.

"She loved you," he said gently, reaching out and touching her hand lightly. "The way I loved your mother. Now, tell me, child, would I ever lie about that?"

Nyssa glanced at him through the dark fall of her hair, considering his words, before slowly turning back to him.

"You never talk of her. My mother."

"It is not easy to do so."

Nyssa grunted.

"Did you truly love her? Do you even miss her?"

It was not what she had meant to say, though she honestly didn't know what she _had_ meant to say, and silence fell over them again as they stared at one another. She had not lied. Her father never spoke of her mother if he could help it. She had always assumed it was because, given who and what he was, he had long ago hardened his heart to any sort of emotion. That he had felt little or nothing for the woman who had gifted him a daughter. But now, watching his face, his eyes, she saw what she had never taken notice of before. A quiet grief that, in some way, mirrored her own.

"I loved her with my entire being and I miss her every day," Ra's said softly, hand still resting against Nyssa's. "I never...I never meant to deny you her memory. It was only that the pain of her loss...it was too much." He reached up and brushed her hair back once again. "I am not the heartless man made of stone that rumours claims of me, Nyssa, but after countless years I have learned to hide my emotions lest they be used against me. I did not mean to hurt you by doing what I had always done to protect myself. I am sorry, my child."

She saw the truth in his eyes, the guilt as well as his grief, and she gave a watery smile.

"I forgive you," she whispered. "I...I do not believe I will be much different when it comes to Sara's memory."

Ra's gave her an understanding look but also a searching one.

"Sara would not wish you to wallow in your grief as I have," he said gently, ignoring her dark, tear filled look. "You are only obligated to mourn her for so long, my child. You are allowed to be happy. Sara would want you to be happy again one day."

Nyssa sniffled and squeezed her eyes shut for a moment, tears still finding a way to glide silently down her face. When she opened her eyes again she gaze a slow breath and looked at her father. His expression was kind and gentle in a way she hadn't seen it be in years. Not since long before Talia had left them. She sniffled softly and reached up to wipe away at the tears on her face and was surprised by him again when her father reached out and brushed a tear away himself.

"I am sorry I upset you, my child," Ra's said softly, cupping Nyssa's cheek. "It pains me to see you cry."

Nyssa huffed, not angrily, and felt her cheeks warm, a blush trying to form.

"I-I'm not c-crying, shut up," she muttered, used to speaking with Sara in such a manner before she realized how she had spoken to her father.

Ra's, thankfully, seemed to understand as he smiled at her rather than reprimand her.

When he hugged her, the first time he had truly hugged in since she had been young, she slumped against him, burying her face in his shoulder and clinging to him. She sat there, tears gliding silently down her face, listening as her father whispered soothing words in Arabic to her, rocking her tenderly.

She knew when they left her room it would be different, back to the way it had been for years, but for now it was comforting to simply have her father as her father rather than her master and leader.


End file.
